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As we all know, Kootenay Lake is home to some incredible wonders, but I think we can all agree that none are quite as wondrous as the western conifer seed bug. This creature is a true wonder of the natural world, and I'm sure that as scientists continue to study them, humanity will begin to realize its dreams of travelling across the stars. You see, I believe that the unique attributes of these smelly little bugs will help us to unlock the mystery of teleportation.

No, I'm serious. Think about it for a second. 

There you...